The Great Habanero Circus

Today we shall talk about how important it is to experiment with habanero peppers. Habanero peppers are extremely important for our sphincter as it helps relax the entity and also psuedo-neuralizes any limbic intincts that we have.
Yesterday a young fellow named Jose came to my house and in the pretext of selling ballpens tried to rob me. He screamed " you fucking bastardo get down and gimme everything you have in your refrigerator ".
He took out a knife that was 5 inches long and motioned it menacingly at me but i was too smart for that bullshit, and because of my insanely high numbered glasses i was able to binoculate onto his knife which clearly show the letters in bold "made in china".
Chinese knives that are imported to the USA are of ultra high quality fake materials and are known for their breakability. Upon this typographical revelation i let him enter and as he turned to look towards my pc i pulled out my SOG seal revolver knife and with one swing chopped his blade in half sending that piece of metal flying. He was shocked and looked angrier than ever.
I asked him if he had eaten and he replied that he was hungry. Asking him to sit down i offered to cook him some of my exotic stuff. He seemed a bit relaxed now and a little shocked at my compassionate behaviour.
Switched on my favourite channel which had the "Iron Chef : RoastLamb" episode running, just to get his appetite working. From the kitchen i could see his eyes glued to the tv.
I started working.
First,took 8 habanero peppers and blended them into a thick paste, then 5 whole peppers with 2 tablespoons of red chilly powder from India, 3 cloves of garlic with one whole wad of mashed ginger. This delicious concoction was then added to half a cup of vegetable oil and 1 cup of shampoo.
Blended all the stuff together slowly adding shots of lime + vodka and crushed ice. Then gave it a shot of fruit spray to mask the spicyness of the affair.
Meanwhile Jose was looking really hungry, and thirsty i may add. He got up as i entered and motioning him to sit down, handing him the glass i asked him if he had medical insurance? He looked confused and said "no" . I looked at him and motioned him to drink the ice cold stuff while it was still hot......